UNLAWFUL AND ILLEGAL

A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"
Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
"'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle.

"C" LEVEL

A girl came home from school with her exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the girl.
"What do u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C' (sea) level"

NO COMB

Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."

WHERE YOU BORN

Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: " Singapore , Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."

FATHER AGE

Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born

MATHEMATICS TEST

Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday, teacher said 2+6=8
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday, she said 5+3=8 And on Wednesday, she said 7+1=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

NEW SECRETARY

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!"

Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!"

THE FIRE DOG

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog.
The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"

POLICY INSURANCE

A man has brought a life insurance for his wife with an Insurance Company.

Once the man signed the policy, the man ask the agent...

"If my wife suddenly die by tonight, how much i can get?"

The agent say: " I think it brings you ten years of JAIL."